My Bullet Points to the Graduates
Let’s be honest: I don’t have it in me to give any speeches right now, so bullet points are going to have to do. Also, I “missed” my law school graduation. I went to Graceland with my then-boyfriend, for what was supposed to be a delightful weekend of debauchery and BBQ…until he invited his mother along and not so much. On the other hand, Graceland was awesome. Made me proud to be an American.
So, Graduates, here’s my two bullet points:
- Make mistakes.
- Forgive yourself.
Because, in a nutshell, if you don’t mistakes–and learn from them–you won’t learn anything from life, and you won’t achieve anything, since you’ll be so afraid of making a mistake that you’ll do nothing. Or, even worse, you’ll keep making the same mistake and end up trapped, wondering, “Wtf happened to my life?” That is not a sexy place to be in. Gets exhausting really fast.
True story: I’ve had the idea for this business since 1999, if not before. But at the time, I was living the “glamorous” lifestyle of TV news, making bank…couldn’t give that up, right? Then, I went to law school, got into a lot of debt, and some other first world mishigas happened before I finally got the courage to start this business.
And here’s the moral of that story: had I not gone to law school, but instead started this business in 2004…it would have been horrible. Oh, it would have been atrocious. I had never failed at anything at that time in my life, so I had no true understanding of what clients needed to hear from a coach. My “advice” would have made clients sucker punch me: “Oh, you got fired…gawd, you must suck, who gets fired…ow!”
Instead, starting this business after law school, after I had learned humility the hardest way, means that now when my clients confess their fears, their heartaches, their deepest, darkest secrets to me…1) I’ve heard it all before and 2) I know exactly where they’re coming from. And that’s why I can help people! (Though invariably the clients are somewhat disappointed that I’m not shocked, shocked and outraged.)
Which leads me to point two: forgive yourself. You’ve read my blog, you’ve seen my pictures: I’m not crunchy. If anything, I’m the anti-crunchy. But learning to forgive yourself for your mistakes, your bad choices, your fears, and your pain is not about being crunchy…it’s not even an option. It’s about understanding that you’re not the worst person ever, that you don’t deserve to be miserable so how about you stop constantly sabotaging yourself and go about creating some positive change in your life, goddammit, before I lose what’s left of my mind?
Also, how could you be the worst person in the world? That status is reserved for the men who used to come into my bar when I was still bartending, and “flirt” with me, while drinking, I swear, Sex on the Beach, or some other super macho drink…and not tip. And cat-abusers. And chubby hetero boys who wear skinny jeans. So, trust me, you’ve got a lot of competition before you receive the “Worst Person in the World” tiara.
Therefore, in the meantime: why not live your life? Why not be grateful for the mistakes you made that led you here to this moment, and forgive yourself for the stuff you can’t change? #justsayin’