So, you’re not perfect…

So, you’re not perfect…

January 22, 2015 Uncategorized 0

“But anyway I see that it is better not to apologize. I shall do what I can, and my readers will see for themselves that I have done all I could.”- Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Yesterday, I did this podcast with my old friend Marie Segares (, and we had a great time. Not exactly hordes of listeners, and our studio audience was a sleeping, elderly dog, but we had fun, and the people who showed up were smart and passionate. If you listen to the audio, one of our participants mentioned that she had had to stop blogging for a week, due to some other pressing concerns, and now she was feeling, oh guilty, weird, and what should she do?

I’m pretty sure it was The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that famously advised, “Don’t panic!” Exactly. In fact, just that morning, Marie and I had been discussing certain people, who shall remain nameless, who go to national blogging conferences to give “advice,” and yet, when one checks out their blog, one notices that the so-called “experts” have not updated it in weeks or even months. Yes, this is a thing. A bullsh*t marketing thing, but a thing nonetheless.

Listen, life is what happens when you’re making other plans, so if something occurs, and you realize you haven’t updated your blog, or your various social media platforms in a few days, instead of panicking, get on it, and do what you can. It’s like learning to ride a bike: if you quit doing it, the first time you think you made a mistake, forget it, you’ll be so ashamed, intimidated, anxious, you’ll never really do it again. And if you think it’s hard to get back into blogging, or posting on a business Facebook page if you’ve missed a few days, wait until you’ve missed a month…oy vey. Not to mention, sometimes you need to take a break and connect with humanity in the here and now. Sometimes, taking a break from social media can keep you sane and when you log back in, you actually have something interesting and important to say. (Remember how we all used to actually live our lives instead of documenting them…remember that?)

But if you notice that you keep running out of time to blog (or post on Twitter, or Facebook, or Pinterest, or whatever), if you notice that posting constantly seems like pulling teeth…maybe it’s time to ask yourself if this is really the correct social media platform for your personality. Maybe it’s time to change your strategy; accept yourself, change your strategy. I personally rarely post on Pinterest; it just doesn’t really interest me. But I don’t beat myself up about it. I focus my social media energies on Facebook, Twitter, this website, and LinkedIn. When everyone last year was all crazy about the new site ello, I sort of rolled my eyes and thought, good luck with that. Tell me how it works out. Tell me in my next life, when I’m reincarnated as a happy little tree, and will have plenty of down time, then I’ll care, then I’ll be fascinated. Right now I have clients to threaten encourage.

I do forensic nagging coaching, so I’m all about helping clients understand what’s behind their choices, both good and bad. If you keep “forgetting” to blog, or if you’re constantly so busy chasing small fees, that you’re always broke and you don’t have time to promote your business on social media, and so you cannot get to the point where you’re making significant money…that seems more a psychological issue, than a time management issue. You may have to be honest with yourself: Are you really running out of time, or do you not believe in your business? Do you believe in yourself? Have you been so conditioned to think of yourself as incompetent, as a failure, that you sort of presume no one’s interested in what you have to say anyway, so whatever, who cares if you haven’t blogged for a month? Well,obviously you do. Not to sound too much like Glinda the Good Witch here, but you had the answers all along. If you care about your business, or work or passion, isn’t that all that matters? Conversely, if you don’t, that’s also all that matters.

I’m just saying, you can beat yourself up in your search for perfection, you can nitpick the heck out of yourself, and look for every reason that you’re not perfect, and you can make that a crushing regret…or you can shrug, savor your imperfections for all the multitude of ways they make you YOU… and resolve to do your very best. The world, the bruised, heartbroken world, will beat you up enough, you don’t need to help it.

If you’re having trouble, for example, blogging, because you’re running out of ideas, create a “Content Folder,” in Word or in Google, and put down a running list of ideas, rants, inspirations. Take note of the birthdays of your favorite authors, writers, actors; important anniversaries or historical events. Create the inspiration you need. Commit to a realistic blogging schedule, maybe 3 times a week, set the dates in your calendar with a rough idea of what you could blog about and THINK LESS, WRITE MORE. Do not sit down at your computer or tablet, wondering, “Does anyone even read this damn thing?” Yeah, that’s definitely going to summon the Muse. Oy. Do you think your blog is interesting and worthwhile? Welp, then I guess someone reads it. 

Not sure what you should do? Here’s a hint: commit.



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