TUESDAY TIPS: July 1, 2014: The luxury of goals
“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”-Marie Curie
When starting things off with a new client, I frequently will ask them to identify their goals so that when we meet, I can create their own personalized strategy, based on their goals, their experiences and their personality. Given my own experience, that, at the beginning seemed ideal and right: people come to with me their goals, I help them achieve them…next!
But, the more I do this business, the more I realize that while I am extremely goal-oriented, and while I love to have a check list…for many people, just the idea of having to identify their goals makes them sick to their stomach. Let’s face it, if you’ve been conditioned by cruel, jealous or just thoughtless parents and people to doubt and dislike yourself…is it even possible for you to believe you can achieve your goals? How would you know what your goals are? Have you ever taken the time to discover yourself and what makes your heart beat faster? How many people do I know who don’t know what it is they want out of life, because they’re so resistant to figuring out? Oh so many. Such a shame.
That’s why, nowadays, when clients start delaying, when they start hemming and hawing, saying that they haven’t had time to identify their goals, or that maybe this isn’t a great time to meet, they’re super busy…I don’t get irritated. Depressed, yet. Frustrated, yes. Heartbroken? All the time. But not angry. Because the people who do this, “one step forward, 15 steps back” tango have been conditioned to dislike themselves. They’ve been conditioned to believe that they are incompetent, worthless, stupid, unlovable, you name it. And if that’s what you believe, how could you possibly know what you want out of life? If you don’t know and like yourself, how could you possible know what you want to do? Goals, in that sense, are a luxury.
I’m just saying…if you read this blog, and you’ve been brooding about emailing me, but your goals seem overwhelming, or pie in the sky…if you think, “There’s no way I could ever do [fill in the blank].” Hmm, how about you, first and foremost, understand that you’ve been trained to be your own worst enemy and shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org? What’s the worst that could happen? Either a) I get cat hair on you, or b) I help you create a realistic plan to achieve your goals. Maybe we just have a conversation that starts you thinking about all the things you wish were doing. Maybe you’ll see that you’re the only one standing in your own way.
What do you have to lose that you haven’t already lost.