August 3, 2011 career transitions courage despair Indiana university Bloomington law school politicians self-confidence south park 0

Just a brief thought today on the importance of self-confidence. This is particularly aimed at those who are going through a rough time, say unemployment, a painful professional or personal transition…I know I’ve blogged a great deal about the crucial part of seeking employment, for example, is to demonstrate your value. But I also know that when you’re unemployed, particularly if it’s a long-term situation, the immediate effect is to make you lose all sense of self-worth. Which is a very dangerous, self-defeating prophecy. How can you muster the self-confidence, the necessary arrogance to convince an employer that you’re hawt sh*t, if you’re feeling like a loser, right?
Take a deep breath, and remember that you are more than just a job. Remember all of the other things you have achieved, the lives you have changed. The people who love you, love you no matter what…if they don’t, I need you to tell them to suck it, asap! You must re-assign yourself  value immediately. If not, I promise: it’s just going to get worse. Your mind starts playing tricks with you…and those tricks can be very destructive.
I know of what I speak. When I first graduated law school, I felt pretty beat up. (BTW: this has nothing to do with IUB and everything to do with me. IUB deserves a lot of praise and cash for putting up with my crap for 3 years.) I was pretty toxic with misery, and fear. It really did feel like all my best years were behind me. (Melodramatic…but true.) Then, out of the blue, I got an email, from a former agent, asking if I would agree to put my first play on tour of Brazil. I won’t go into details here, but the idea that I had had, previous to law school, written something that years later was still thought to have the power to influence a national dialogue…that notion saved my life. It gave me the self-confidence and belief I needed to stop kvetching and to be grateful for all I had learned and done along the way.
(Ugh: I’ve become one of those people who are “grateful for the journey”…oy. On the other hand, I’ve also become someone who can always find a relevant “South Park” quote so…tomato, tomato?)
So when I say to people who are going through a rough time and feeling in a dark place, that you must focus on all you have achieved, and all you WILL achieve…I’m not some idiot politician telling you to keep a stiff upper lip, as I slash your social services and give myself a pay raise. (Grrr…) I’m someone who s-l-o-w-l-y, step-by-step, started turning things around by being true to myself..and re-assigning myself value. And you can too…
(Thank you, IUB! How could I have anything but mad love for a place where you can get hammered for twenty dollars?? Come on!)

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