Dirty Stayout

Dirty Stayout

November 9, 2014 Uncategorized 0

Sometimes, I think that one of my biggest talents is my ability to learn from mistakes; my mistakes and the mistakes of those around me. For example, about three years ago, I went to a beach party with a crazy woman “friend.” The beach party was being thrown by her undergrad alumni association, we were both small business owners, we were planning on eating BBQ, swimming and hell, maybe schmoozing up a new client or five:  what could go wrong? #FamousLastWords

Well, when my “friend” went to the welcoming booth to pick up our tickets, she demonstrated such an odious inability to master basic social skills, coupled with a very real talent for antagonizing people, that she  turned what should have been a quickie, painless human interaction, into a bizarre, awkward, uncomfortable, incomprehensible exchange. The whole thing happened in English, but literally, at one point I had to get involved, and translate/apologize/beg, so as to avoid our being thrown out of the event. We barely got those damn tickets.

Considering this woman was also an entrepreneur, her inability to make eye contact, to be polite, to get simple functional chores accomplished, was to me a huge wake-up call as to why her own “business” (…and I’m being generous…), which she had started with a significant amount of money, was in the crapper. There were things that up to that moment I had only suspected, and suddenly it was like, “Oh, now I see. Oy. Vey.”

Not to mention, she had no talent for honesty. If I had asked her, later on, about the scene at the welcoming table, that I had personally experienced and intervened in, she would have looked blankly at me and said, “What are you talking about?” I didn’t even bother. I just filed the info away for future use: she’s crazy, and she brings her crazy with her, and she creates, in others, the very same emotions she fears. Hmm. Note to self.

I bring this up because, the holiday season is upon us. This is the time of year when there are many holiday parties i.e. networking events. How do you know if a get together is also networking event? Did you network? If so, congrats, it was a networking event. (Whose permission, after all, do you need to achieve your goals?) I know that a lot of people would rather chew off their own right arm than network…and that’s a shame. The jobs/opportunities/relationships you desire are all out there, in the world, but you have to leave your lair and start building the opportunities you need. If you’re dreading networking, if meeting new people terrifies you, that tells me more about you, than it does about the people you’re meeting.

Before you roll your eyes at me, just realize that all you’re doing is cutting yourself off from meeting new people who could potentially change your life. But you have to give them a reason to help you. A great reason, for example, is your charming, welcoming personality. If, however, you’re going to networking events and skulking in the corner, not speaking to anyone…wow, how weird, right, that no one wants to scoop you up. How odd.

Starting Monday, I’m going to networking events every day this week, except Wednesday. Some of those days, I’m going to two events in a row. This is pretty much my schedule for the rest of 2014. I could dread it, sure…but no one put a gun to my head and said, “Carlota, you have to be an entrepreneur.” Me and my megalomania chose this life. Not to mention, who knows what kind of fascinating people I’ll meet? Listen, all the many good things in my life today came from the people I’ve met. I mean, I love my cats but they don’t really contribute much. I spent years in TV news being poopy and cynical and all I got out of that was cynicism and depression, as I was surrounded by TV anchors who made me want to weep with their stupid questions. “Carlota, what does NPR stand for?,” is a very real question I  really was asked.

 

If you’re curious, yes, yes indeed, I did spend a lot of time in TV news, seething not-so-quietly with rage. The experience of being both bored and irritated, was a big reason I started this business: I loathe being bored. I loathe morons. Thus, in 2008, I decided to (wo)man up and get to work, and  be optimistic, and  believe in my better angels, since being depressed and miserable was depressing and miserable and slowly killing me. And what do you know, I started getting back all the good that  I was putting out.  Corny but true.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”- Gandhi #gettowork

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