Fail Smarter
Thinking about that popular quote/admonition/question, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?,” I found myself thinking that really it should say,” What would you do if you didn’t mind failing, at least once?” Okay, that doesn’t have the same je ne sais quois, but it’s more honest. Because I think what holds many people back from experiencing their full potential is the tremendous fear of failure. The shame we put on failure. Our crushing, paralyzing fear of failure. So, unfortunately, some people think, “Well, if I don’t try, I can’t fail,” not seeing the inherent flaw in that argument.
I’ve had clients, considering starting new businesses, for example, and they’ll say, “Well, I don’t mind making a few mistakes, but really, otherwise, I need everything to be perfect.” Listen, I also wouldn’t mind making a “few” mistakes–what a lovely change!–but since I want this business to get as big as it possibly can, I’m at the point where I’m just grateful to be making smarter mistakes.
If you don’t want to make any mistakes, if you’re aiming for perfection, you’re going to remain stuck in fear. You’re going to remain stuck. And when you give in to The Fear, that’s your biggest mistake.
When I went to Russia, during my junior year at Wellesley…oh my, I wish I could explain how bad my Russian was. So bad. The average Russian toddler sounded like Noam Chomsky compared to me. Not to mention, I was living in a small town, on the border with Finland, and my Russian landlady not only didn’t speak English; she thought we spoke “American,” in America. (In hindsight, I’ve often wondered if she was crazy like a fox…) The first six months of that year was spent in a fog of incomprehension. Getting milk at the grocery store was exhausting. I pretty much passed out every night at 6pm. (The fact that it was -10, with an hour or so of sunshine each day during the winter, and that the heat was erratic at best, and we had to boil water to bathe…no, none of that helped my mood.) It was six months of me banging my head against the wall because I couldn’t. Understand. ANYTHING! There was also some piteous weeping and/or vodka-guzzling. Good times!
Then, I went to a Christmas party and someone at the party told a complicated joke…and I got it! I got the joke as he said it! (Here insert image of me doing jubilant and drunken happy dance.) After that, it was all downhill, and in fact, I returned to Russia after graduating college, got a job working for NBC, and in fact was so fluently obnoxious on the phone, that Muscovites would ask me what part of Moscow I was from.
My point for taking you all down memory lane with me, is to say that I only learned Russian by essentially spending 6 months making grueling mistakes. If I had waited until my Russian was perfect to go to Russia…yeah, I’d still be waiting. But going to Russia and, eventually, succeeding in understanding the language, gave me the confidence, and the drive, to believe that I could accomplish many other things I was passionate about. If I had waited for my life and my finances to be perfect before starting, for example, this business…oh, my what a long, sad wait that would have been. What a lot I would have missed out on! Things aren’t perfect at all, and yet I’ve still managed to get hired by Huffington Post, and inspire clients across America. Perhaps there’s something right about my strategy of aiming for smarter mistakes?
If you’re interested in getting your own progression started, shoot me an email at carlotazee@gmail.com, and become a fan of my Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” for a free consultation!