Fantasy vs. reality
I would argue that pretty much everything worthwhile in life starts with a fantasy. So, whether you want a committed, loving relationship or you’re dreaming of become a doctor, you begin with a fantasy of what your life could be. Then, some people commit to that fantasy and making it, step-by-step, a reality… and some people don’t.
I was thinking about fantasies because, God forgive me, I am a true crime buff. (Ahh, I feel better having admitted that to you.) If you were ever to look through my Amazon queue, many of you would be deeply disturbed by how many true crime shows I enjoy. Some of you would be disturbed. Others would be like, “Party at Carlota’s!” I’ll pop the popcorn, you bring some margarita mix. I find true crime shows like, “Snapped,” “Evil Kin,” (Oh my lord, so mortifying to admit that I watch this trash!) and the like fascinating because they let’s me experience, vicariously, what can happen if you choose a (stupid) fantasy over reality. These shows are the epitome of what can happen when you deny the pain you’re in, and make atrocious choices based on that pain. Of course, what drives me truly insane about these shows are all the innocents who suffer because some schmuck couldn’t take responsibility.
A perfect example of people choosing fantasy over reality is the murder of Randi Trimble, who in 2003 was killed by Blaine Norris, a (loser) friend of her (loser) husband, Brian Trimble. Norris had written a horror screenplay and he wanted Brian to help shoot it. Randi said no. (The screenplay was apparently as brilliant and well-written as you’d expect from these two geniuses.) Around the same time, the sponsor backed out. Frustrated and broke, Blaine and Brian hatched a plan wherein Blaine would kill Randi and the two would split the insurance money. Blaine would get his movie and Brian would get a big-screen TV. Yes, these two geniuses killed a human being to get money to make a bad movie and a TV.
This scenario, to me, is the epitome of choosing to live in a fantasy world, rather than taking responsibility and making your reality bearable. Intelligent, emotionally-mature men might have said, “Okay, let’s figure out another way to get the money we need.” Brian, who was clearly unhappy in the marriage, and resentful of Randi–despite, or more likely, due to the fact that Randi worked two jobs to support his punk ass–could have, oh I don’t know, suggested to Randi that they go into couples’ therapy, or maybe even asked for a divorce. But of course a divorce would be reality. It would require him to take responsibility. Murder, on the other hand, was more emotionally satisfying. Also, a divorce would have left him with even less money, while murder netted him a big-screen TV. This is fantasy. Choosing a TV over your wife’s LIFE is fantasy. It’s also disgusting.
And now, those two morons are in prison and Randi Trimble is dead. That’s the problem with choosing to live a (cruel) fantasy: other people, innocent people, pay the price for someone else’s mistakes. Norris and Trimble got life sentences, as did Randi’s mother and all the people who loved her. What a loss, what a waste. I believe in the positive power of bringing your fantasy to life. I know how scary it is to have to take responsibility for all that you want to be. More importantly, I know that cowards never win.
Want some help realizing your fantasy? Become a fan of my Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” for a free consultation and email me at carlotazee@gmail.com! I have tremendous respect for the courageous and generous work that Nancy Chavez, Randi’s mother, has done to help others: http://randishouseofangels.org
Besos,
C.