Friends, Old and New
If you’re shopping for Christmas gifts right around now, taking the time to carefully pick out gifts for friends and family that you know will make them glow with pleasure…ask yourself, if you’d spend the same time of attention, care and concentration on achieving your own goals. I’m not just being irritating; it’s a valid question. So many people are conditioned to feel bad about focusing on themselves, and creating their own happiness. (If you ask me if people really create their own happiness, I’ll remind you that we damn well create our own unhappiness, and it’s silly to assume that anyone else is responsible for our joys.) People will go to bat for their spouses, children and friends, even for pets, but when it comes to their own needs, they sort of shrug and say, “…oh, I never thought about it.”
That’s a problem. If you don’t know what you want, how could you ever possibly achieve it? If you’re a parent, you’d probably fight to the death for your child’s future and general well-being, right? (I myself will frequently skim on my own needs, so the cats can eat a higher quality kibble. The cats are looking at me like: “You have been trained correctly, Human Can-Opener!”)
Therefore, maybe the best gift you can give yourself this Christmas, is to treat yourself like a dear friend who needs extra attention and nurturing. Treat yourself like you are your best friend and take care of yourself. Ask yourself, seriously, what are the changes you’d like to make in your life, and think about why you haven’t made them. Don’t accept pat answers like “I don’t have enough time.” This is your life, you’ll have to start making the time. Make yourself a priority. If a dear friend came to you for help, you wouldn’t shrug them off, would you? You’d probably be upset to see someone you care about in distress.
You might not allow yourself to know exactly what it is you’re feeling now, but it’s never too late to spend some time getting re-acquainted with a wonderful old friend, who needs the best you have to give. And, after all, aren’t you the best gift of all? I think you are!
Want some help making friends? Invite me out for a cocktail! Become a fan of my Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” and email me at carlotazee@gmail.com, and I’ll give you a free consultation.
Besos,
C.