How to be a hero in your own life
As a coach, I have many people come to me, desperate to change their lives. Many of those same people are extremely panicked. They have great, or at least interesting ideas, but they also have this panicky sense that their lives are spinning out of control, and that unless they make a decision now, right now, dammit, and carpe diem, they’re doomed, doomed! Carlota, seriously, how can you be so calm? !
Well, because as someone who has been engaged in the hell adventure of changing her own life since 2008, I understand that this is, first and foremost, a process and what’s the rush? Any lasting change in your life must happen organically. Organically means “it’ll happen when you allow it to happen, when you put in the hard work, and learn from your mistakes, and keep pushing yourself.” Organically does not mean “tomorrow.” Or, “in time for your college reunion.”
This sounds like I’m mocking the people who are trying to change their lives, but no. Not even a little bit. I know, firsthand, how damn hard it is. If anything, I’m mocking our society which puts superhuman pressure on people to magically divine themselves, and somehow, overnight, with the help of an app or something, boom! *bursting into song* I can see clearly now/the rain is gone…
As a coach, many people come to me, saying that they want to be a hero, and help others, changing the system, and inspiring their fellow Americans…and that’s awesome. All of that is great. But being a hero doesn’t happen overnight. It takes commitment. And you can’t be a hero to others, if you disdain your own time, work and energies. You could decide, for example, that you’re going to write some amazing book that changes the world, immediately putting yourself under exhausting pressure and responsibility. I’m not saying it’s impossible that you’ll write a great book that way, but you really have made your own journey that much harder. What if, instead, you started a blog, or wrote short pieces, sharing them on your Google+ account, with hashtags relevant to your subject? You have no idea what lonely soul might discover your writings and feel less alone in the world. Don’t tell me that’s not a form of heroism.
I’m simply reminding you that changing your life is a journey; a scary, empowering, heroic, overwhelming journey. Being panicked is understandable, but not helpful.That panic will eventually overwhelm you, leaving you feeling powerless and guilty, binge-watching Netflix. Holding yourself to unrealistic standards, or to someone else’s standards, is not helpful. Deciding that you need to ensure that this journey is the right one, even before you start, is truly not helpful.
However, getting started today is a great idea. Doing even one “small” thing today is fantastic. Choosing to do something constructive today, however big or small, is the best. Get to work.
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