“If I’m not a success in my 20s…is it all over for me??”
Oy vey.
Spoiler alert: The answer is, “Calm down, you’ll be okay, as long as you don’t panic.”
Because seriously. You know how many people are successful in their 20s…and then burn out? You know how many people, spend their 20s in an unsuccessful blur, not really figuring themselves and their talents out till they hit 40, or 45, or 55? My mother, for example, in her 80s, is finally getting the kind of acting opportunities that 40 or 50 years ago, she would have presumed far beyond her reach. You know how relative success is?
I myself did very well in my 20s sure…and then, broke and exhausted in my 30s, I had to start the process of re-wiring my life. In my particular case, the previous success I had enjoyed, gave me the courage and determination, to expect more of myself, and to start the process of saving my own life. However, I have many people come visit me, seeking help, because they are chained to “successful” jobs and lives…chained to destinies that mean nothing emotionally to them. They want to change their lives, but the thought of losing the “success” they created terrifies them. They feel absolutely powerless. If your successful life is killing your will to live…is it really still a success?
I’m just saying that success is (frequently) fun, sure, success is great…but true success is understanding and accepting yourself as you are, so you can , over time, create a success that changes and evolves with you, a success that continues to resonate with your truest self. By definition, I don’t think this kind of success is even possible in your 20s.
If you’re chasing other people’s notions of success, all you’re really doing is running from yourself. If you’re going to go through this chaotic existence of ours, imaging that there are real rules, or a real timetable for when you have to achieve something as nebulous as success…you are setting yourself up some real heartbreak. You’ll be successful when you know yourself. You’ll be successful when you stop worrying about living up to society’s expectations, and make yourself a true home in your own skin, your own desires. How dare someone else tell you, that you’re a failure or a success? What does someone else’s values and standards have to do with your authentic life?
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