“It’s full of stars!”
“I do not mean to sound like a snob or anything, but I do not like the fact that sometimes I feel like I am being treated like a baby (my actions get second guessed, my actions have to be confirmed, I sometimes get blamed for things that are not my fault — & at the end of the day, i’m doing exactly what I am told). I don’t like when my responsibility gets questioned or I am not trusted.”- L.
This is a quote from an email I recently received from one of the “young people” I nag at kvetch at mentor, and I’m sharing it, not to put her on the spot, but because it reminded me so much of my own experiences when I was in my early 20s and making my way in network news. I had the mixed blessing of being 24, 25, 26 and being given incredible authority, and astonishing money…but when you’re young, in the ego-devouring, death-eating saltmines business of TV news, you’re given responsibility primarily as a way to hang yourself.
I remember being 24, and working 20+ hour days, and busting my chops, and going home, exhausted, to sleep for 3 or 4 hours, but feeling proud of the work I had done, feeling fairly sure I was Yahweh’s gift to TV news…and then, the phone would ring, and it would be my network’s flagship anchor calling to tell me, in excruciating detail, how much of an incompetent asshole I was, because I hadn’t arranged for the dry cleaners to pick up his suit, and Jesus Christ, Zimmerman, what the hell is wrong with you? What the hell do you kids study in whatever damn little girl’s school you went to? Is the dry cleaning supposed to pick itself up? Do you even know how to do your damn job?
With the anchor’s dulcet tones, not to mention the dial tone, ringing in my ear, I grabbed a handful of airplane travel vodka bottles and curled up in bed for 3 super relaxing hours, till I had return to the newsroom where everyone knew I had been chewed out. (If you’re noticing that the anchor didn’t mention my news coverage…you are correct! But news anchors don’t actually care about news, that’s for the producers little people. News anchors have super important priorities, such as getting their makeup done, whining, throwing things at people and asking stupid questions. Not necessarily in that order.) Today, I actually cackle over this memory, since this sh*t happened so many times. But at 25, 26, 27…I was shocked and outraged, outraged! I bust my ass all day to get this kind of treatment?
My point is that your first job out of college is challenging. No matter how hard you work, how much you care, you are going to meet people–some much older than you, some 2 or 3 years older than you–who are going to make you feel like a baby, who will demean you for your youth. Take a deep breath and realize that their issues are just that: theirs. As long as you give it your best, smart people will notice. (And if they don’t, maybe you’re not in the right industry.) Eventually, when the wheel of history turns, and you’re on top, maybe you will resist the urge to treat younger people the shoddy way you were treated. Maybe.
But on a more serious note, in her email, my correspondent also spoke about her fears of not knowing whether or not this was the right job for her talents. She knew that many of her friends would envy how plush her position was…but was it right for her? If you yourself are feeling this, this is an excellent time to start keeping a journal: you have many thoughts and emotions swirling around inside of you, but do you know what they are? Do you know what you really want? Do you know what you’re thinking? (If not, welcome to the club, you wouldn’t be the first person to be lost within yourself.)
If you don’t know what you’re thinking, it’s hard to know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, how could you know if this is the right job for you? Not to mention, newsflash: you’re 24 or 25, and this, more than likely, is only the first of many jobs for you, the start of process, a time to learn office survival tricks, tweak your social skills and start contemplating what might be the right job for you. Again, this is an excellent opportunity to keep a journal and commit to understanding yourself. What do you like about this job? What do you hate? What skills are you learning?
Also, realize, that in your twenties, you’re at the very beginning of things: the beginning of understanding yourself, and what could be your place in this world. To create a life takes–wait for it–a lifetime and it takes patience. If you spend your days on social media, comparing yourself to the bullshit other people present as their lives…oy vey. You are going to waste years of your life. Years you don’t have! You do you. Keep your eyes on your own plate, and know thyself, as the ancients counseled.
If you’re thinking that all my happy hippy, serenity now crap ain’t helping, and you’re realizing that you genuinely do need a different job, check out the Occupational Outlook Handbook as a way to see all the many jobs out there. It’s hard to know what else you might want to do if you have no idea what else is out there. As a coach, I never administer any of those ridiculous personality tests, or any tests, because I believe that people have to know themselves, to know what job(s) could be right for them. (Not to mention, as we age, and mature, we become interested in different things.) But it never hurts to do some research and understand how many different jobs really are out there.
(On the other hand, if all the possibilities have left you in the curled up under your desk, breathing deeply into a paper bag, okay, chill, chill. Take things at your own pace. The only race you’re running is with your own heart. #cornybuttrue)
I’m just reminding you, that yes, being young at work is hard…there’s tremendous pressure. But, newsflash, being old at work, ain’t a walk in the park either. Have patience with yourself, no matter what age you are, and realize that doing anything important takes time. It takes commitment. It takes courage. Your life takes courage. Know thyself.