Kitchen Wisdom
I’m calling this posting “kitchen wisdom,’ in that it isn’t high-powered and sexy advice, but it is the sort of stuff that people interviewing for jobs need to know. Years ago, I would have assumed that everyone knew this…and I’d have been very wrong. Alas. The longer I help people achieve their goals–frequently, just by helping them stop sabotaging themselves with poor choices–the more I realize that there’s no such things as “dumb” questions, and that people who have achieved their goals are, in some ways, unicorns.
If you have an interview, or any important meeting, at a location you’re previously never been to, don’t feel stupid to ask for the most detailed directions possible. In fact, why not take a practice run? See what the commute is really like. Homicide detectives do this all the time, when they’re checking out a likely suspect’s alibi, they’ll drive the route the suspect said he or she was on when the crime in question took place. Think of yourself as a detective, determined to help yourself solve the case of why you keep destroying your own opportunities, and get on it: drive the route the day before, or ride the subway. Do whatever it takes to help calm yourself down and relieve anxiety. If it works, it’s not stupid.
Because otherwise, if you let go and let Yahweh, you might find yourself running 25 minutes for a job interview, because you missed a train that rarely shows up, that of course you didn’t know about, because you didn’t fully research the route…and you show up breathless, flustered, sweaty and already feeling like a schmuck. You walk into the office already feeling embarrassed and defensive and that’s not a fantastic way to meet prospective employers.
If you feel bad, you’re going to project badly, which means you’re not going to get a job that your mom and I know you’d be great at. You just set yourself up to fail. Imagine if you had rehearsed the commute previously, figuring out the shortest, safest route. You’d have shown up for your interview 10-15 minutes early, had time to drink your coffee and rehearse your pitch and gone in and nailed it.
The day of a big interview is a very nerve-wracking day. So in future, admit this to yourself, and plan a ritual that will allow you to relax and focus on making a connection with the interviewer. Go to the gym, talk a walk, watch an episode of your favorite show on Netflix, have a delicious breakfast, give yourself all the pep talks necessary to leave your nervousness at the door. I say this, by the way, as someone who helps people interview, as someone who interviews all the time, and I still get nervous. I still have to resist the urge to sabotage. I get nervous but I’m aware of my bad inclinations before I act on them.
Just remember, you obviously worked hard to get this interview. If it’s for a job you truly want, don’t feel ashamed to have a pit of fear of your stomach. You’re human, those things happen. Instead, have the courage to acknowledge your fear so you can master it…and yourself.