Lunching “between opportunities”

Lunching “between opportunities”

August 21, 2014 Uncategorized 0

Had a very interesting consultation today yesterday, wherein I was asked the entirely sensible question, “If I’m taking all these people to lunch, doing all this networking…that’s going to add up…right?” Right. Getting a job is an expensive process, when you factor in business clothing, business cards, Internet access and a working cell phone, thank you notes, buying people coffee and meals…it adds up! I could say something glib and factitious like, “Well, it takes money to make money,” but that’s not helpful.

What I will say, is that before you reach out to anyone, take some time to do your homework and find a reasonably-priced cafe or diner, that while presentable, won’t break the bank if you end up having to eat there 2-3 times a week. Also, make sure that it’s the kind of establishment that, if you linger in a booth, having a conversation, you won’t have staff constantly looming, trying to kick you out. Make sure it’s a place wherein you could bring someone, someone whom you have to impress, and they won’t be thinking,”…damn, you really need a job! Yikes.”

Now, personally, I think that when you commit to networking, you’re going to discover that the people most likely to help you, have been where you are now, and know how tough your situation is. These people will probably pay for lunch, or buy your coffee. These are the people who remember all-to-vividly how it feels to be “between opportunities,” and they remember that someone gave them a hand them when they needed it. These are also the people most likely to really go to bat for you, and help you get some serious traction in your career.

On the other hand, unfortunately, you’re going to have to deal with a few (*cough cough*) humanoids who will take advantage of your situation.  True story: A few years ago, networking with someone from my grad school, she suggested we meet at a very trendy restaurant here in NYC. Fine. Then, she had the nerve to order an $85 meal. Ordered it, and didn’t offer to pay even half. So charming. Ate all that food and didn’t even do what she had promised. Once the tide of history turned in my favor, you know she was one of the first to come back and want to hang out. Good luck with that.

Anyways, yes, some people just want to take advantage, but I promise, as someone who does this alllll the time with clients, that  people really will shock you with their kindness and generosity. You have to be optimistic, and allow yourself to ask for help because…what’s the alternative? Staying stuck? Being miserable? Giving up on your dreams? Your misery is not a sustainable option, you know that.

Finally, you might have to find two different locations, because, depending on the type of person you’re networking with, some people simply won’t be amendable to eating in a cafe or diner. With some people, it just won’t be appropriate. If, for example, you’re networking with the partner at a law firm, or a hedge fund, for example, um, they’re not going to be interested in slumming it, and seeing how the little people live. You’re going to have to use your plastic, or borrow from a good friend, and take them someplace worthy of their ego help.

Just remember: present as you wish to be perceived. You might not have any money for gas, or even the subway, you might walk to lunch, and it might be your one meal of the day. But unless you tell people, you’re the only one who knows that. And you wouldn’t be the first person to create a bright new future out of the ashes of your present. Grit your teeth and allow yourself to present at your best so you can move forward.

And when you do move forward, when your cash flow dramatically increases, and someone asks you to lunch to network,  have some empathy for their courage in asking for help, and do the right thing.

 

 

 

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