The horror is real

The horror is real

October 2, 2015 Uncategorized 0

One of the hardest things–though, really, it’s all hard–of taking steps to change, and thus create your authentic life–besides the understanding that mistakes are necessary for you to understand just what is and what isn’t authentic, so yes,  mistakes matter in the very best way–is the fact that while you’re making mistakes and marrying the wrong people, taking the wrong jobs, running from the right opportunities because they’re simply too scary…simultaneously, you live in a world wherein social media has brought the world to your bedroom. So you’re trying to live your life, meanwhile it may appear that everyone else knows exactly what they should be doing, and you’re the only asshole.

The next time you beat yourself up for being human, I’d like you to take a step back, take a deep breath…and survey the world today. The world in which Kim Kardashian is a celebrity. The world in which there are almost weekly mass shootings in America, in fact mass shootings are almost tedious and routine. Yes, that wacky world. The world in which  people live, and more frequently die, for institutionalized racism. The word in which Oklahoma gruesomely botched the execution of a man who himself gruesomely botched his vulgar desire to be, for once, a big man. The world in which Donald Trump running for president isn’t just a punch-line, it’s a startling actuality. The world in which  a guy set a gas station on fire trying to kill a spider. The world in which people fight, furiously, online about celebrities and clothes, all to shut out their own drab lives. Now. Take another second and consider: If we lived in a world full of people who understood themselves, would any of that horseshit truly exist? Wouldn’t we all be working at jobs we loved, helping ourselves and others to achieve our truest potential, paying a flat tax, singing Kumbayah My Lord in the streets and enjoying the perks of having multiple hot husbands? (What. Just because I have the courage to say what many women think, suddenly I’m the crazy one.  You say “crazy,” I say “visionary;” let’s just agree to disagree.)

I’m just saying, that if you’re trying to understand yourself, and your (changing) place in our (changing) world, it helps to stop deciding that you’re the only asshole who ever lived, and that everyone else is awesome. It helps to forgive yourself. It helps to value your emotions and decisions, and learn from your mistakes.

Because, guess what? The men and women you admire, the men and women who seem to be at peace in their own skin, and are, more or less, loving their lives, they did just that.  And our bruised, heartbroken, lonely world needs more and more of us to forgive ourselves, so we can forgive others, and work together to create a new world of brother husbands empathy. Meanwhile, the people who snicker at you, who judge you…? Ha! Those cowards never had the courage to do the grueling emotional work you’re doing, so of course they hate you. You’re making them look bad.

It’s Halloween, and while we love to scare ourselves silly at the movies, many of us are not so fond of admitting how frightening real life can be. Making the (on-going) decision to change our lives is scary in a way that no movie ever could be, because…the horror is real. The horror of admitting to ourselves our frustrations, our dreams, and our fears. But again, I promise, that the men and women you admire, did the very same things: they wept in the shower, they cried under the sheets, they took rejections on the chin, they sought out help anywhere and everyone, living to fight another (painful) day, till slowly, s-l-o-w-l-y, the tide of history turned in their direction. I’m writing this to empower, not scare you. This Halloween, I pray you scare yourself out of a life that may no longer suit you, understanding that you are so much braver than your fears.

 

 

 

 

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