Your way or the highway.
November is National Novel Writing Month, and if that lights a fire under your butt, and makes you stop procrasturbating and start writing: awesome. On the other hand, if that whole concept strikes you as being a huge, panic-inducing, talent-suffocating gimmick…well, hey, guess what? That’s also okay. If NNWM makes you suspect you’ll never write again, take a step back and instead of deciding that you’re a failure, that you’re not a “real” writer, just chillax. You’re as real as anyone. Give yourself, and your ambition, a break. Give yourself the permission you need to become what you most.
I’m picking on NNWM to make a point. So many people come to my office, wanting my help to achieve their dreams and be “unique,” and “amazing, “ and do “life changing” work, but then, these very same people are compelled to be normal. “Carlota, I want to fit in.” “Carlota, I want to be normal, I don’t want to be weird.” Hate to burst your bubble, Sunshine, but you cannot both fit in the world, and change it. You can’t be so-called “normal,” (whatever the hell that means anymore), and do amazing things. You can, however, be yourself, and do the things you feel strongly about. You can be yourself and accept your world, in order to, step-by-step, change it. You can make your own normal.
And part of making your own normal is understanding that what works for others, might not work for you…AND THAT’S OKAY. That doesn’t mean [fill in the blank] is wrong, or you’re wrong, it simply means, that you need to make your own path. When I started this business, I was 35, and I felt extremely weird. And lost. I believed that I couldn’t do anything right, that my best years were behind me. At the same time, I knew that I had no choice, so I decided to make a coaching business based on my own experiences—both good and bad. I knew I’d never be a mainstream coach, but I was arrogant/desperate enough to believe that someone might profit from my advice.
So today, when people tell me, “I want to be a coach like you, Carlota,” I’m flattered but nope. We are all our own unique snowflakes. These same people, however, can grow up to become a coach exactly like themselves. (Excuse me while I blow your mind.) I saved my own life by finding satisfaction and even pride in my weirdness. I let my freak flag fly.
Whether you want to spend November writing a novel, or starting your own small business, or getting a promotion, or whatever it is you want to do, to truly succeed you’re going to have to trust your gut, and do what makes sense to YOU. If it works for you, it’s right.
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