I know: I’m up early. Most of you dear people are still sleeping, drunk, naked, or all three, on the subway. (Which means I’ll look forward to watching the clips on on youtube.) But I had the Cold That Time Forgot this past week, and since NYE is amateur’s night, and I have fun plans for today, not to mention that being self-employed means if I’m sick, I can’t work…anyway: long story, I watched a movie, had some wine and passed out. So now, I’m up, I’m perky and I’m listening to Barry Manilow. (Some of you now, I know, are shuddering at the image and thinking, “Hmm, kinda like the bitter Carlota more…”) My apartment, on the other hand, looks like it was the site of a 1980s frat house party. Meh, tomorrow’s another day to clean, to whine, to kvetch…
Anyway, one of my many ideas for 2012 is “Realistic Resolutions.” One thing I learned last year was that nothing happens overnight. It’s years of constant, sustained effort…and, why not, a little luck. But it’s the sustained effort that counts. It’s the effort that teaches you. You would think that everyone would know that, but…not so much. I have clients who think that they can stop networking, or stop trying to get a better career for a significant time, till they “get their sh*t together” and then blammo: they’ll become personal assistant to Russell Brand or something. (That’s one of those jobs that a teenager would think is highlariously fun and easy, but in reality, would be insanely detail-oriented and frustrating and make someone give away all their possessions and their ego and join a cult for the peace and quiet.)
Things don’t “just happen.” Things happen because you have constantly networked, constantly sought out and taken advantage of opportunities, constantly educated yourself. Which means: yes, you always have to eat healthy. (God…isn’t that a bummer? I have this fantasy of turning 70 and saying, Fudge it, and wearing magenta velour caftans, and waking up to a mug of Laphroaig, and a breakfast of Taco Bell and fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate-chip cookies…but vanity, dammit. Also, I’m my father’s daughter, and he’s in his late 60s, still working out every day and watching his figure. I’ll be that little old lady running on the treadmill, wearing a cat t-shirt, listening to hip-hop. Hawt!)
So, whatever it is you want to “fix”, from your dietary habits to your love-life, it’s fine, you can do it…but be realistic about it. Please don’t make one of your resolutions for 2012 to “work out 6x a week, at 5am without fail and become sinewy.” Yeah, that’ll happen. Actually, what will happen, is you’ll have a week, maybe, of some incredibly hard-core workouts, which will kick your ass, and which you’ll probably hate, and you’ll be in pain since, shockingly, you’re no longer 18, so you’ll take a “break” to “re-charge”…and suddenly, it’s Memorial Day and you haven’t been to the gym since January…dammit!
Instead: Be realistic. Be realistic about your personality, your schedule, your commitments and your life. How about you commit to hitting the gym for 45 minutes 3x a week? Do that for a month and I can pretty much guarantee that 45 minutes will become an hour an a half, and you’ll be working out 4 or even 5 times a week. More realistic resolutions to come!