31 Days 2 Get You Started! January 16: Identify the Hate.
The days on the calendar are starting to hit their familiar stride, and hopefully you are also, in the sense that you’re committing, more and more, to yourself and your goals. If that’s the case, even if you’ve had some rough days, some days when you fell off the horse, listen, you’re doing your best and I salute you. However…
However, if it’s the middle of January and you haven’t even started any of your 2014 resolutions…that sound you hear is me sighing, and trying to keep calm. Because all you’re doing is being your own worst enemy.
We like to talk about how competitive the business world is, or how competitive American society is in general…but really, the only person you’re competing with is yourself. You’re competing with the part of you that sees obstacles instead of opportunities. With the part of you well-trained to hate yourself. That part is wrong, my friends, and it’s up to you to re-train yourself. A great way to do that is to identify the crap you say to yourself. Write it out so you can see the vile, negative crap you spew at yourself. And then consider: you wouldn’t hang out with a friend, or lover, or parent–I hope–who said that shit to you, who constantly made you feel like crap for existing? (I really hope you wouldn’t allow someone to speak to you like that.) So why is it okay for you to sh*t on yourself? Why is it okay for you to be so cruel to yourself? Is that cruelty helping? Doesn’t seem like it. So why do it?
Maybe when you were little and (even more) vulnerable someone (who should be ashamed of themselves, and probably is) said that kind of crap to you to make themselves feel better. I don’t condone it; I find it revolting. But I find it more revolting when people treat themselves like that. Are you perfect? I hope not, because perfect people tend to be very tedious. If you’re perfect, I’m happy for you, but we’ll never have a long, boozy brunch together because I have a very low tolerance for boredom. If you’re reading this, I bet that while you’re not perfect, you are doing your best. You have good days and bad days. Good years and bad years. You deserve to have more good years. That is my decree.
That’s why, next time you start berating yourself for being you know, human, maybe you should write out, on paper, the stuff you hear in your head, so you can understand how cruel and stupid it is, and that you deserve better. You deserve better from yourself. So go get started.