“My year of yes…yes, please, do it for me!”
(This blog post is going to read as crankier than usual, but realize it’s coming from a place of are you serious, what the hell is wrong with you love. #samedifference)
Earlier this year, I wrote this piece for Huffington Post, “Your Year of Yes.” I discussed all the hard work and risk-taking implicit in crafting a successful, worthwhile year of yes. I still stand by that article, especially when I’m forced to listen to people bemoan their year of yes, even as they have some kind of fantasy that someone else, some prince charming is going to arrive on the scene and magically bring all of their desires to life. You know the people I’m talking about. The people who seem to think that having a year of yes means a year of saying, “Yes please, Universe, figure out my life for me, since I’m miserable, and there’s so much I want to change, but I can’t figure out even how to get started so while I binge-watch Empire and get a cat tattoo, and post inspirational quotes on Pinterest, can you like just bring life, lust and glamour to my bedside, kthankxbai.”
Maybe I was born in the wrong time (doubtful, because I have this weird thing for indoor plumbing, and women’s right to vote), but the whole “I want to change my life, so yes I must change my life,” thing, weird as it is to some, makes perfect sense to me. My life, my responsibility. On the other hand, the idea of waiting around, and committing to one’s depression and learned feelings of inadequacy seems tiresome. When I was depressed and surrendered my authority, I found myself tiresome and tedious. Even now, I tend to reject invites to my own catered pity parties.
I’m just suggesting that, in hindsight, if you’re disappointed with your year of yes…that’s totally normal. Changing your life is a lifelong process, and at different times it will speed by, or be as slow as molasses. Accept that, be patient with yourself, forgive yourself and allow your year of yes to become a lifetime of yes.
If you want more, give yourself more: more permission, more release, more determination. Your year of yes is your responsibility. Your responsibility and your liberation. #gettowork
(As much as I love this quote, I’d like to add that I personally like (life) stories wherein the men and women save themselves, where men and women decide that they are worth saving and commit to the heavy lifting of changing their lives.)
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