So, you got fired…
If you got fired, before you start squirting whipped cream directly from the aerosol can into your mouth,* how about you relax, take a step back from the ledge, breath into this paper bag and calm the f**k down. You may feel like the world’s biggest loser–you’re not, trust me–you may think no one else ever got fired–again, you’d be 1000% wrong–but really: calm down. Right now, you must realize that you’re very emotional and not thinking straight.
Go have your pity party, eat your weight in ice cream, get drunk at 3:00 pm in the afternoon, watch sad movies and cry it out. Tell your cat Jasper all the reasons you hate the world. Drink beer in the tub. Whatever you do, crucially, keep it OFF social media. Keep your rage and pain to yourself because social media amplifies everything, and getting a new job is hard enough without some flippant comment you made months ago, coming back to haunt you.
Now, once you’re feeling a little less vulnerable, once you’re ready to start job hunting again, as you create your networking list, as you identify companies and jobs that interest you, you’re going to have to start constructing a script as to how you’re going to deal with questions like, “So, what happened at your last job?” The honest answer might be, “My last boss would have made Joseph Goebbles say, “Whoa, buddy, chill out!” But alas, you can be too honest. And yes, you will indeed be questioned; pretending you won’t isn’t a realistic strategy and it won’t be helpful when you’re asked and you have nothing intelligent to say.
Instead, think of how you are going to script the story so that it is palatable to a future employer. A prospective boss does not want to hear your rant; she doesn’t want to hear you say, “Oh, it was run by morons,” since a comment like that says more about you, than anything useful about your former management. Not to mention, many of the people in positions to hire are in their late 40s, 50s and 60s; many of these people have a great deal of resentment against millennials. Many of these people tend to believe that millennials want everything handed to them, so if you’re not careful how you speak, you can immediately turn off prospective employers. (I personally don’t believe that–I’ve worked with a lot of millennials, who, like the rest of us, are just trying to figure themselves out–but I do find it interesting that a lot of the parents of millennials are so dismissive towards millennials…hmm. )
If you got fired, you need to discuss it in a way that lets prospective employers get past the drama to see the real person you are, so that they can understand that you still have a great deal to offer the world. (Right now you should probably remind yourself that you do have a great to offer the world. You do. I promise.) You need to tell your story in a manner that indicates you can see the situation from management’s POV, that you have empathy for other people. Your presentation matters more than you know, empathy and intelligence will always triumph over rage and whining and self-pity.
*Yes, b*tch, I am jealous, damn.