Tuesday Tips: March 18, 2014: Less lists, more doing.
In this business, I spend a lot of time helping clients get organized. Before you can achieve your goals, you have to be able to articulate them. But there’s a difference between articulating your goals, and busy work. There’s a difference between creating a to-do list to get you organized, and using the creation of a to-do list as an excuse for doing the hard work of changing your life. Or, alternatively, creating a massively complicated to-do list that will reinforce the part of your brain that thinks your goals are unrealistic and too hard. Changing your life is a process of re-conditioning yourself. It’s a difficult process, you have to help yourself! If I’m pointing any fingers, I’m pointing them, first and foremost at myself. I’ve been known to have very long and complicated to-do lists that invariably make me feel like giving up.
At this point, I understand that there’s no bonus in shame, or fear, so instead of giving up, frequently, I won’t make a to-do list for myself. I’ll just start with the worst, most onerous chore, get that out of the way and keep moving forward. There’s also, obviously, a great deal of whining involved, but you don’t want to hear that. I don’t even want to hear my own whining. The cats definitely don’t want to hear. They’re sitting outside on my balcony as I type these words, to get away from my whining and grumpiness.
My point is this: if a to-do list helps you get organized, and makes things seem manageable so you can do what has to be done, bueno. Write away! But be honest with yourself: if that to-do list makes you feel panicked, and overwhelmed, and is looming above you, reminding you of all you have to do…throw it out. Do one positive action today–ideally, do one thing that scares you, so that once it’s done you realize how tough you are–and then, relax! Put your feet up and have a mug o’ wine. The process of changing your life is just that: a process. You did one thing today, tomorrow, hopefully, you’ll do two things. It will get easier. But beating yourself up because you didn’t do your 14 page to-do list is not helpful. Do what you can today, be proud of your accomplishments, and tomorrow’s another day to try again.
Shame is never helpful, but many people think I am. Want some personalized help? Oh, of course you do! Become a fan of my biz Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” and email me at carlotazee@gmail.com, and let’s get to work!