31 Days 2 Get You Started! January 3: Asking for Help is Mandatory.
I used to advise people, “Hey, allow yourself to ask for help in achieving your goals, it’s fine and totally normal.” And then, given how many people seemed surprised to hear that, given how many people were determined to waste their own times and energy, because they, incorrectly, believed that if they didn’t (somehow) change their lives all by themselves, they weren’t really changing, they were being weak…given all that bullshit, now I’m in clients’ faces: Ask. For. Help! Let me remind you that 1) change is brutally hard; 2) no one ever does anything important alone; so 3) if you’re not asking for help, you are sabotaging yourself. If you’re not asking for as much help as you need, you’re not allowing yourself to succeed, which makes me think you don’t really believe in yourself.
Starting this business, you might be shocked to know how many people I took out to lunch, or coffee, or emailed, or generally whined at, basically saying, “How do I do this? How did you??” And because most people are flattered to be asked their opinion, so many people were utterly gracious and supportive. So many people, whom I had assumed wouldn’t give a crap, bent over backwards to give me advice, resources, support, to help me get published, to introduce me to other people…basically so many people believed in me.
Imagine if I’d have been the kind of asshole who thinks that only losers ask for help: I’d have given up long ago and be working, miserably, at some job I hate. You don’t have to be a damn dirty hippie to know we’re all connected. Ask for help because the thing that doesn’t make sense to you, or that seems insurmountable to you, is no biggie to someone else. Ask for help and then pay it forward. Just because it sounds corny, doesn’t mean it ain’t true, Kid. Ask for help: you deserve it, and your goals are worthwhile.