31Days 2 Get You Started! January 14: Being Afraid isn’t Bad.
You know me, I’m obsessed with getting out of your own damn way, so you can have fun and achieve your goals. That’s a little hard to do, however, when you’re terrified of, oh I don’t know, life, New Jersey, men, women, yourself, your goal. It’s hard to achieve your highest potential when you’ve been raised to believe that you’re hateful, or disgusting, or defective in some way. When you’ve been raised to see yourself as bad, being afraid can become a sign of weakness, instead of a natural evolutionary defense. If you see fear as weakness, you might start avoiding everything that makes you fearful and end up living in a box. That would be bad. Boxes are good for cats, not people.
You may have to say this to yourself, a hundred thousand kajillion times, until it gets through all the negative conditioning of your childhood but here goes: Fear isn’t bad. Fear is normal. Giving in to fear, however, is bad. Being afraid doesn’t make you less a man, or a pathetic woman, it makes you human. It makes you normal. What wastes your time, however, is giving in to that fear, and letting it control you. Because fear doesn’t want to just control one aspect of you, fear is greedy. Fear wants every aspect of you it can get.
You’re trying to re-condition yourself, and allow yourself to live the fun, exciting, stimulating life you were meant to live. Fear is a huge obstacle. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that being afraid makes you human, not bad. Remind yourself of that till it sticks. Do the little things you can today. Tomorrow, they’ll get bigger. I promise. But right now, do what you can, do that tomorrow, you’ll be able to do more. You’re not bad because you’re afraid, because it’s the height of courage to admit that fear.