What I learned from Gore Vidal
“I never miss a chance to have sex, or appear on television.”- Gore Vidal
Oh, so many reasons I love Gore Vidal, but first and foremost, I adore him for the wit and authority of his writing. Gore Vidal is in control as an author; he was born in control. If you haven’t read any of his books, I recommend starting with either Lincoln or Palimpsest: A Memoir. Born at West Point in 1925, he grew up knowing Amelia Earhart, was related by marriage to Jackie Kennedy, was close friends with Tennessee Williams, traded barbs with Truman Capote…and the list goes on and on. Gore knew everyone interesting, and fucked many others, and his recollection of his life, thoughts and works is fascinating.
I was thinking about Gore recently, because as a coach, I have a lot of people who come to me seeking answers for oh, you know, the usual: their life and what it means. Unfortunately–and I’m as irritated as you are by this seemingly incomprehensible turn of events–I’m a coach, not a witch, or the Delphic Oracle. Therefore, I have many sensible, useful strategies, and if you come to me with even a general idea of what you want, I can help you create a plan of attack. However, if you come to me saying “Fix me, make my life have meaning,” well, I’m a coach, not a cult leader (…not yet anyway, though the day is young…), so I can give you some solid suggestions for starting your amazing/exciting/terrifying/exhilarating journey of self-knowledge, but it is your journey. I can help, but you have to take the big steps. Also, as a human, I want to help people, not simply take your money and say, “Oh, you know, just read Who Moved My Cheese and do some yoga, and I’m sure it’ll work out.”
I was thinking about the people who come to me, who are so lost and in so much pain, as I re-read Lincoln, and it got me brooding about Gore’s wonderful voice as an author, his masterful blend of authority, humor, empathy and malice. What there any connection?
I personally think a great deal of Vidal’s talent, and his fascinating life in general, is due to the fact that as a child, Gore Vidal was responsible for reading aloud, for years, to his blind maternal grandfather, Sen. Thomas Pryor Gore. Reading aloud to his grandfather everything from bills on the floor, items for debate, letters, Gore, from a very young age, forged a deep emotional bond with a male family member, and understood the value of his contribution. He was helping his grandfather run the country. Gore Vidal, even as a small child, was taxed with a heavy responsibility. Even as a small child, Gore was aware of the importance of his actions. I don’t think the impact of that responsibility, and that power on the young Gore can be overstated. (This is a great Paris Review interview with Gore, if you’d like to learn more about him, his life, and his wicked sense of humor. )
Consider, for example, that at a young age, Gore knew he was homosexual. This was in the late 1930s/40s. This was when people were arrested, hounded, destroyed for being anything other than perfectly heterosexual. There was no “It Gets Better” movement back then; there was no understanding. Homosexuality was considered a disease. If you were gay, you took that secret to your grave. (As an example, Google “Alan Turing” and see the disgusting cruelty foisted upon an extraordinary man who, among his other world-changing achievements, can be considered to have made the “single biggest contribution to Allied victory over the Nazis.” So said Winston Churchill. However, Mr. Turing happened to be gay, so, yes, Google him and see how his grateful nation repaid him.#ragerising)
Some of you are thinking, “…so what’s the answer, Carlota? Have a blind relative in the Senate, to whom you read…is that your secret to success?” Oh, shut up. Everyone is going to have a unique secret for success because everyone’s success is different. But if you don’t respect your inner voice, and respect yourself, and believe in the value of your contribution–whether you run a hedge fund or knit a viking helmet for cats–no one else can. On the other hand, when you do believe in yourself, when you truly know yourself…you’re free. You’re in charge. You can remake your world to suit you. It worked for Gore Vidal…
