TUESDAY TIPS: May 6, 2014: Getting started to stay started!
I personally am someone who, while it can be hard for me to get started, once I finally–out of desperation and/or determination–do it, I commit. I stick to it. I may have to take a little longer to come around to certain things, but once I do, sh*t is on. That’s just me and my Type-A personality. Everyone’s different. I’ve had some clients, for example, who once they were made aware of all the choices and opportunities they had, would, by the end of that business day, have already made some radical changes. I’d be thrilled to see them leap into action…and then…and then, suddenly, it would all come to a screeching halt.
The email campaign that was picking up steam…the job hunt that was really gathering momentum…whatever it was, it started strong and then suddenly…*crickets.* Understandable as that is, given life’s pesky habit of getting in the way when you are engaged in trying to change said life, if you’re in the midst of a transition, you have to commit. You have to build up that momentum and stick to it. Stopping and starting just cannot work. All it does is exhaust you, and not-so-slowly make you lose your confidence.
I’ve seen so many people whom I can tell are on the road to amazing things, just give up and lose faith in themselves. Again, that’s understandable–changing your life is time-consuming, exhausting and frequently overwhelming–but there’s truly millions of people who, on the verge of achieving their goals, stopped themselves. (No one can sabotage you like you can.)
With that in mind, if you’re about to start some exciting/terrifying/liberating endeavor, I’d strongly suggest that you, in advance, create a strategy for the first, at minimum, two months. How long will it take you to create a new habit? A week isn’t enough, and a year planned out in advance is simply unrealistic, but I’d argue that mapping out the first 2-3 months, can be life-changing, as regards to gaining direction and ideas.
So, if you’re starting a blog, or writing a play, if you’re job hunting, or whatever it is, sit down and create a list of what actions you’re going to take every day for the next two months, so as to make this new project a habit and a routine in your daily life. (Not to mention: creating such a list will give you plenty of other ideas and opportunities.) You have to take some time to think intelligently about your goals, and treat them with the gravitas they deserve. Otherwise, along the way, you’ll start feeling self-conscious, you’ll have a bad day, you’ll be tired and whoa, suddenly, 6 months have gone by and you’ve done nothing. And once you stop, it’s almost impossible to start again, because now your brain is thinking,”…well the other job hunt didn’t work…this one won’t either, whatever, I should give up.” The other [fill-in-the-blank] most likely didn’t work because you didn’t commit to it. Stop undermining yourself and commit!
Listen, whatever it is you’re about to do–say, starting a blog–you’re putting yourself out in the world and drawing attention to something very personal. That’s extremely intimidating. And if your friends, for example, know about it, they may, unknowingly, put a lot of pressure on you, asking you when the next entry is…meanwhile, you’re wondering what the hell you should be writing about, and kinda sorta maybe wishing you never got started. But you did, so be proud of yourself and allow yourself to succeed.
That’s why I advise clients to take their goals seriously and commit. If, for example, you’re thinking about blogging, awesome. But don’t spend so much time designing the perfect theme on Blogspot, that after the first entry, your mind’s a blank and you become paralyzed by fear and doubt and dread. At the very least, write out a rough list of possible subjects. Look at the calendar, are there upcoming dates/events that inspire you? Write out a list of subjects, famous dates, books you want to discuss, anything. Also, commit to blogging, for example a minimum of three times a week. That way you won’t end up with a blog that started off fast and furious…and suddenly you realize you haven’t blogged anything, or even visited your site in 9 months, since that’s guaranteed to depress you, causing you to lose even more confidence in yourself, and soon you’ll be back to visiting other people’s blogs that get very heavy traffic thinking, “…this writing sucks, I could do that.” Yes, you can but unfortunately, you aren’t and this person is. Frustrating that, n’est pas?
Whatever it is you’re attempting, treat it with the seriousness it deserves, thus allowing yourself to give it everything you’ve got. The more you give, the more you’ll have to give.
Want more personalized tips about committing to yourself and your goals? Of course you do! Become a fan of my Facebook business page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” and email me at carlotazee@gmail.com!